Not A Mourning Person? How To Handle Complicated Emotions At A Funeral

Not everybody is suited for spells of hysterical crying after a loved one passes away. Sometimes this is true even at the funeral. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are in denial or not willing to deal with your grief if you are feeling a variety of things in the immediate aftermath of a death. When it comes to handling complex emotions after a death, many people will have certain expectations of what mourning looks like. Here's how to handle complicated emotions at a funeral.

Step #1: Process the Fact That Everyone Grieves Differently

Given the deep loss, the immense pressures of a death in the family, and the inevitable life changes that come with a death, you may be overwhelmed at the funeral of a loved one. In addition to going through different stages of the grieving process, you may feel many different things within a couple of hours or a single day. Accept the fact that you don't have to grieve in a linear process. You may not feel like shedding a single tear on the day of your loved one's funeral, and that's okay.

Step #2: Control Your Response to People

Most people who attend the funeral are going to expect you to be obviously in mourning since your loved one has recently passed away. Although many mourners simultaneously feel relief among other emotions, you will likely not be understood if you seem joyful at the funeral. It's up to you whether you want to let your loved ones know that you are feeling a lot of complex emotions at a funeral. While you may not be able to control how you feel, you are in complete control of how you respond to those around you. They don't need to know anything that you don't choose to share with them. Protect yourself and only let those you trust in on how you are truly feeling.

Step #3: Take Actions to Honor Your Loved One

No matter how you feel at a funeral, it's important to act in a loving way at someone's memorial service. After all, it is the opportunity for those who loved the deceased to share their grief and honor their memories of the person. If you are feeling angry or resentful about the individual who passed away, do not address those feelings at the funeral. There will be plenty of time to get out your frustrations in the days that follow the funeral.

Finally, keep in mind that you are entitled to feel any way that you naturally do at the funeral of a loved one. No feeling is wrong in and of itself. Only actions are good or bad. Feelings never are. If you are having a hard time coping with the differences in the way you feel and the way that you think you should feel, it is a good idea to see a therapist, such as those found at Gillies Funeral Chapel, for grief counseling. The funeral only lasts a day, but ongoing complications with how you feel should be addressed with a caring professional who can guide you through the grieving process. No matter how you may feel in the aftermath of a death, it's possible to be truly happy again.