Divorced Parents At A Funeral: How To Handle An Ex While In Mourning

When you are going to the funeral of a loved one, there is enough pain already present without having to deal with the dynamic feelings that may surface when you see your ex-spouse. Unfortunately, given how intertwined a married couple's life is while they are together, it may be inevitable that you deal with just that situation if you lose a mutual friend or a family member you both loved. You don't have to freak out if you see an ex at a funeral, even if you haven't seen them in a very long time.

Extend an Olive Branch

Let's face it. During a funeral, there are going to be higher priorities than any drama that you and your ex once endured. If you are not still burning with rage at your ex, reach out in a simple way. You may simply go up to your ex-spouse and let them know you are glad to see them. Express your sympathy and talk about how you are glad to see them (if you are). Play it by ear, but reaching out shows that you are mature and focused on the memorial service rather than the past.

Inform Your Friends

If you have new friends that you are surrounded with who did not know your ex, be sure to let them know the situation. If you want your friends to keep a buffer between you and your ex, that is a perfectly reasonable request, especially if the funeral you are attending was for a close relative or friend. It's okay to ask for help in handling this uncomfortable situation, whether it is requesting seating that isn't within view of your ex or trying to avoid further contact with them.

Refocus on Your Loved One

Few things can swirl someone into an emotional whirlwind as quickly as suddenly having to deal with an ex-spouse. It can bring on a tornado of emotions, and feelings can already be heightened during a funeral. Check in with yourself after the encounter with your ex and try to re-focus on your loved one. The memorial service is the last chance that you have to publicly mourn and celebrate your loved one's the life in such a large group setting. Take however much time you need to regroup and refocus on your loved one.

Finally, keep in mind that you are in control of how you communicate with our ex. You don't have to reveal how hurt you are or perhaps even how happy you are to see them. Empower yourself to stand your ground and only react to your ex in a way that serves you and best honors your lost loved one.

For more information, contact local professionals like Brinsfield-Echols Funeral Home.